I have three more collabs to drop which I’ll honestly be doing this weekend.
This may be the last of it. Forever? Idk
To tell you really why, would be verbose and nauseating.
Yet I can’t help myself ha
I’m just really unhappy with my appearance. It’s an issue that I’m working on but I just had facial feminization surgery in September and I feel worse. It’s a terrible feeling and it affects my ability to do this job and honestly live life.
Some days are good and some content I actually like. Mostly it’s the opposite.
I do have things to look forward too. I have a rhinoplasty and lip lift in July and maybe if I win my appeal and insurance covers my body feminization, I’ll also get that later this year. I’ll be done with smoking too, hopefully that will help with since things ha
But I’m moving to Oregon with my partner here in July too and we’ll be living with her parents and two sisters for three to six months until we have steady jobs and saved up enough to get our own place. Realistically, making content won’t be possible during that time. I know, fml haha
It really breaks my heart and I’m really embarrassed to be writing this even. I’ve given 5 years of my life to this work, sacrificed plenty and my whole transition has been entangled in this. I hardly know who I am tbh. I’m terrified because I don’t have any special skills and working full time and this always helped me make enough money to not stress about finances but I suppose I’ll need to endure “real life”.
I thought, what if I keep up the page and just mark down the subscription price and just leave it until I’m ready? I guess, I don’t know. I feel ugly and the thought of content, 90% of it, being here just makes me feel shame and embarrassment.
I am going to therapy, addressing bipolar with meds finally, hopefully getting something for my adhd soon but none of that works fast enough to ameliorate the situation.
Thank you guys for your support. I’ll let you know once and if I decide to turn off subscriptions and delete this account. Within this month most likely. Hope the best for all of you ❤️❤️❤️
Enjoy! A quick little fuck in the middle of some rubble in the desert of Vegas, back in Oct of 23'. I love the juxtaposition of my outfit and the whole vibe of the video ha would love to do something like this again.
So, this was my first shoot coming back from when I quit the industry back in 2022 (I think?) and when I rebranded as Meddle Blooms (thats another little story) but you know, I started out as Dahlia Bloom at the beginning of my transition, I think my very first shoot was back in 2019 before I even started hormones ughhh. I ended up getting a chin reduction (that was what I could afford at that time) back in I think Summer of 2022 and then I just was not feeling things with where I was at in the industry and ultimately my appearance, so I decided to quit. I did end up coming back kind of like 6 months later but it really started to pick up when I shot my first scene with Trans Taken the Summer of 2023. From the beginning to the middle to now, I can wholeheartedly say I wish I did things different, like waited to start in the industry and you know, its more of a post-coital clarity thing of exploiting my own vulnerability thing and maybe a little bit of optics when it comes to feeling like I'm kind of stuck with the reality of always being linked to that image of early transition haha nothing really affecting me but I looksie inside.
What I will say to negate that negation, is I have come a long way. Some girls take a little longer to get to a point of feeling confident enough to step outside and engage with the world and some come out of the womb polished and razor-honed to perfection. I only hope to fit into the frame of what I want for my transition and its still a work in progress. I am happy I got that chin reduction, I am happy I got my boobs done and I am happy I got FFS. I do plan on several more things but I just wanted to share a glimpse into the past of where I have come from in the last three years because I was pretty cute back then too :3
Hey! I am going to be heading to Poland today!! Yay!!! I am feeling in a good mood and I have scheduled some posts and will have my phone so I can say what's up or post some selfies and whatnot. Hope you all have a lovely weekend though and remember to keep renew on and buy my videos or I'm going to quit and just sell insurance for a living. toodles
I made this for V-Day back in early Feb but wanted to post it here since only a few people actually own it and like no one has seen it really I think? Anyways, enjoy hehe first 4 minutes teasing and then bj on the toy and then fuck machine
Sorry for the delay in getting content out! I’ve been dealing with personal stuff. I’ll be leaving to Poland here on Thursday and be gone for 10 days. I’ll be scheduling some free collabs to post here though! The classics 😎 and then I’ll come back with some content too 😘 I’ll also have 4 new collabs coming out soon too. Me topping a trans girl, topping a trans girl with a guy, flip fucking a cis girl and a bottom scene with a guy
Reposting this vid!! I denoised it since it was pretty grainy due to low exposure and shooting in slog etc etc - If anyone wants to buy me this dress, that would be a nice b-day present (May 13th) hehe I did rent it and am returning it :(
